San Francisco Bound: Disabled homeless blog
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I lived in SF several times. Today, I live at the Times Square Hotel: took a year to get in. In SF, I lived at the Dalt, Shawmut, Harcourt, CW, and two or three others. The difference b/tween NYC-SF = plumbing! You tend to get full baths easier here: a consideration for a disabled person. [For me: AIDS/Borderline/Bipolar and liver disease in remission].

Right now, I am fairly healthy. Maybe not upstairs. I've been in my NYC apt. for 5 years, a record. I like it, but I miss SF. Both cities are missable. I am trying to dream up a way to move back to SF, yet again. I know the psych services are nearly nil [NYC is great for psych]. If you don't have SSD/SSI (SSA) I would not recommend the leap.

But I've done it both ways: moved out there with just pocket change/found a job fast. I cannot do that anymore, so I just have to have some pocket cash and a quick visit to Social Security. They like you to make the change in the first 10 days or so of the month. So SSA people should plan on moving soon after getting a check.

Last time, I lived at the Harcourt, in 2006. I was accepted at the West Hotel. I really wanted the Ambassador, or the one near Civic Center: because that one is extra cheap. I could never addorf a real apt. and I don't care. I am a hotel kind of guy: 47, and not afraid of being alone.

I don't know if I'm allowed ot put a link here, but this links to me: That has more of me, behaving stupidly.

I have other channels. I did really well in NYC, because I had a well-off professor/boyfriend who turned eventually into a friend only. I think it is time to really end that part of my life: he is a choke vine. A lot older. And another guy is choking me, too: he is severely mentally ill, so I have more sympathy. But I am not a doormat forever.

I wonder how bad it is today for the homeless in SF. It always struck me thus: if you did not have any bad habits, like alcohol and drugs, SF can be done fairly well by a homeless person who had some sort of income.

....I understand how hard it is to keep you nose clean in The Tenderloin, where I usually live. People always wanting to be your friend: and oyu are so lonely. But almost no one really cares about you. One must forget about friends, and concentrate on living a quiet life. Independence & the ability to withstand lonely nights is a must in SF.

....I remember going home with a guy I met in a bar, and being offered a meth pipe. That's a serious problem - more than in NYC, by far. So a mentally ill guy like me has to be extra careful. I like to talk to peple in a bar-setting, but it must end there. I know exactly what happens to the drug dependent in SF. I knew a lovely man, truly lovely. He was about 40. A native San Franciscan. He let himself die of AIDS, because of this addiction.

So that is the chief consideration. Since I can become suicidal, I have to be careful to try to be open to meeting the "right" sorts of people. I clean up well: never sleep outside. So most people do not know how poor I am.

But we know. You can never afford more than a Carl's Junior, if that. Safeway just makes you salivate and get depressed. I lose weight in SF, because they won't give me Food Stamps. NYC is generous - $200/month. Imagine how much easier it is in NYC!

And yet, when you are HIV+, mentally ill, and gay you want to be someplace that feels good. SF is full of rotten people, for sure, like anyplace. I never got called faggot more than when I was there. But it was not said in a particularly threatening way. I fear less, generally. I've been under the Freeway, nearly stabbed by some hunky Mexican guys who set me up: I let myself be set up. I screamed like I never had before: they ran away scared! But I saw the blade...

So I want to go back to that? My Times Square neighborhood is super-safe. I have all the subway I need. Food can be had at reasonable prices. Well, yes. The worst problem I face is my possessions. I have about 7 paintings - nothing expensive - things my mother or grandmother painted. I cannot throw them away. Nothing else is sacred. But that is a problem.

I may send them, perhaps throwing away the frames. Yes, that would be easier. I have 2 computers, so one can be given away. The laptop, I will keep. I don't know why - I generally hate computers. But you never know, and it cost a lot.

I wish one thing: I had a friend in San Francisco. Not somone to sponge off of. But someone to welcome me. I knew a few people: too far inland. I don't want to bother them, for they are busy. Everyone wants to be welcomed by someone: it is just a desire. I can get by on my own.

The key to staying off the streets is to avoid getting on them in the first place. My building, the Times Square has a Street2home program. They house people right off the streets. No b.s. We have 652 rooms here: 50% aer market rate (cheap). The rest are programs, including plain old homeless.

Most cities do not have enough units. SF is crappy, for sure. But there are still all these hotels. They still stand. They are crooks, taking $200 per month, leaving you with $100 for everything else, if you have SSA. I know. But you have to start from the bottom. SF is so transient, that I don't blame them for being mistrustful of cases like mine. How does anyone know I will really show up?

Well, I have lived there in 1989, 1999, 2005, 2006. I meant business everytime. Usually, a friend pulled me back to NYC. I don't have that problem, anymore. sylvester -

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